If you think that your brother hates you, this could be due to multiple reasons. However, there is a big chance that this is all in your head. You could just be projecting your feelings onto him. But in case he is mad at you, there are several tell-tell signs to look out for. This article not only talks about them, but what you can do to mend your relationship with him.
Does My Brother Hate Me?
As mentioned, your brother most likely does not hate you. This could all be in your head, as you’re insecure and just projecting your feelings onto him. This is perfectly natural and happens to the best of us. There probably was a minor fight that you had with him that triggered you thinking he hated you from then on.
But as I mentioned, if he does in fact hate you, there are multiple signs to look out for. And he might be mad at your or feel some kind of resentment as he is jealous. If you get more attention from your parents, this wouldn’t be a surprise.
What are the Causes of Sibling Rivalry?
Apart from your brother being jealous of you, there are other reasons why he may feel so negatively towards you.
Competition
Your parents or teachers may be comparing your brother to you, and making him not feel that great. This could cause some resentment which is completely understandable. The only way around this would be for him to open up to you about how he feels.
If your parents compare him to you and tell him to be better, you probably have noticed. You can tell them to stop this behavior. And if you have a hunch that his teachers are doing this too, you can try and get your parents to speak to them – you will of course have to explain things to them first.
Jealousy
Of course, the issue could be due to jealousy. You may be the golden child, while your brother does not get much attention. He would feel jealous if you perform better in school, and are more popular than him. If you’re from a large family, jealousy also wouldn’t be a surprise if your brother is a middle child. They tend to get less attention compared to the others in the family.
Age Difference
Your brother may feel different to you due to your age gap. You may be younger, so you are less mature and are irritating him when you’re just trying to get close. The only thing that you can do about this is to tone it down.
Temper
There may be no reason why he may be mad at you but he may just have a temper. So you doing even the slightest thing could be setting him off.
How Can You Tell If Your Sibling Hates You?
As mentioned, there are several tell-tell signs to look out for in case your brother hates you. I’ve taken a look at the most common ones below.
Let’s get into it.
Ignores You
The best way to tell whether your sibling feels indifferent towards you is if they constantly ignore you. They are either doing this as a means to cancel you out, or to hurt your feelings as they want to know that you have upset them. You can especially tell if your brother is upset if he is fine with everyone else in the family but only doesn’t respond to you.
Rude
Of course, a major sign to look out for would be your sibling being rude to you. He is probably doing this to hurt your feelings as you have done something to wrong him. While he is being rude, he may also bring up all the mistakes that you have made to demean you.
Bad Mouthing
Your brother definitely feels some kind of resentment if he’s always bad-mouthing you. He does not see you in a good light which is what’s causing this behavior.
There is Sabotage
You can definitely tell if your sibling hates you if they try and sabotage you. For instance, there may be something that you wanted to do with your parents, but your brother may talk them out of this. And they might try and embarrass you in front of your friends to make you look bad.
Fighting
Another major sign to tell whether your brother hates you is him constantly fighting with you. If he does this, he is either taking his anger out on you or finds you irritating.
How Do You Deal with a Toxic Sibling?
If you have a toxic relationship with your sibling, you might like that there are several ways to cope with this. I’ve run through some of the best below.
Communicate
The best way to deal with a toxic sibling would be to communicate how you feel. Although you may have been struggling with how he treats you, he may not be aware that he’s having so much of an effect – he could just have a bad temper.
Be open with the dialogue and try not be too pushy. In case he does have a temper, this can provoke him. If your relationship is really bad and he’s open to mending things, you can try and get professional help. Just keep in mind to look around before hiring a therapist, as you should get the best person for the job.
Don’t Hurt Them Back
It wouldn’t be a surprise if they have hurt you with their bad behavior. But whatever you do, do not try and get back at them. This would be a major problem, as this could cause the cycle to continue. Ignoring them is the best thing to do if they are being rude to you. This would eliminate any need for them to continue taunting you.
Don’t Fight it
If none of the above fixes worked, you can at the end of the day not fight the situation. Genetics don’t mean that the two of you need to have the best relationship. If he does not want to have one with you, it would be perfectly fine to keep things the way they are and ignore it. This might be for the best in the end as trying to get closer could provoke him more.
Get Support
Try and surround yourself with the people in your life that you have a good relationship with. You will realize how loved you are, so not having a good relationship with your brother won’t hurt as much. You can also talk to your parents about what has been going on.
They might try and mend things from their end, but they would also comfort you and try to make you feel better. Be sure during this period to do things that will comfort your – you want to be in the best state of mind.
What are the Signs of Jealous Family Members?
In case your brother treats you badly because he is jealous, you would find this section useful. It lists all the warning signs to watch out for when interacting with jealous family members.
Always One-Upping You
The biggest sign that a family member is jealous would be them trying to one up you all the time. They do this as they are trying to make themselves the center of attention. One of the worst things about this is that they would try and outshine you even if it’s a small achievement that you’ve made.
They’re Never Impressed
Ask yourself whether your loved one is never impressed with your accomplishments. If they constantly try to downplay everything that you’ve achieved, it’s because they are jealous deep down. This at the end of the day is because of their insecurities.
They Don’t Like Advice
If your sibling gets angry whenever you try to give them advice, they might be jealous of you. They’re probably insecure about how poor they are performing in the said subject and are lashing out.
Constantly Calling Out Flaws
Lastly, you can tell if they are jealous if they are constantly calling out your flaws. They are doing this as your achievements make them feel bad. This ties in with what I mentioned earlier about your brother disliking you as he is jealous – this could either be because of your achievements or the attention that you get from your parents.
Final Thoughts
There are many reasons why your brother may hate you. The most likely answer is that all of this is in your head. You may think he is mad at you when in reality he is not. However, in case he is indifferent towards you, this could be due to multiple reasons, like feeling jealous. If you perform better at school, or just get more attention from your parents this wouldn’t be a surprise.
Hopefully you found everything discussed useful.
