Asking people to be ushers in your wedding can be pretty tricky as there are no set guidelines unlike with other positions. So, what are you meant to do?
Here is your guide on how to ask ushers to be in your wedding:
How to Ask Ushers to Be a Part of Your Wedding?
It is best to make a big deal out of asking your friends or family members to be your ushers – as this isn’t always an esteemed or liked position, you should make them feel like you are asking them to play an important role in your ceremony.
What is the Best Way to Ask Ushers to Be in Your Wedding?
Perhaps the best way to ask someone to be an usher is to use an usher proposal – a tactic that is typically used for bridesmaids and groomsmen.
If you are getting one of these for other members of your wedding party, then it is a good idea to get some made for your ushers as well.
The most common way for a bridesmaid proposal is via a proposal box. This is essentially a gift box filled with things like candles, sweets, etc. along with a note asking that person to be a member of a wedding party. Do something similar for your usher.
To make this even more meaningful, write the person a letter detailing why they were chosen as an usher. Use complimentary language referring to their warm personality, bright smile, etc. that is sure to add love and brightness to the day.
It is a good idea to use this method for a friend or family member who is close to you but can’t be a part of the wedding party.
The last thing that you want to do is downplay their role or make them feel as though they are an important part of your special day.
Making such an effort is also a great way to ensure that people don’t feel like being an usher is a throw away job. It also increases the likelihood of them saying yes!
What are Some Other Ideas to Ask People to Be Ushers?
If you don’t want to do something quite so extravagant, then invite each usher to an intimate meal with you and your future spouse.
Once again, make sure to mention that this is an important role and that you would be honored to have them help you celebrate your big day.
In case you don’t want to do a one-on-one meeting, invite all the potential ushers off for a fun evening at your place. Make sure that there are plenty of drinks, foods, games, and that your ushers have fun.
In this instance, you may want to consider getting each person a token of some kind. It doesn’t have to be big but including something like this is a nice way to add some importance to the event.
Another thing that you could do is to write each person a letter – it is even better if it is handwritten or if you can get someone to write it for you.
Talk about what that person means to you or your partner and detail why you are asking them to be an usher. You can post it in the mail or hand deliver it to them.
When Should You Ask Someone to Be an Usher?
Interestingly enough, when you ask someone to be an usher is just as important as how you are going to ask them.
It is a good idea to do this at around the same time that you are talking to bridesmaids and groomsmen. In any case, make sure that it is as early as possible.
For one thing, the people you are inviting for this position don’t feel like an afterthought. For another, this gives them plenty of time to plan ahead and free up their schedule.
If possible, try asking them at your engagement party. Make sure that your partner is with you and prepare a short speech. All of this effort will make your request more meaningful to them.
A Reminder to Treat Ushers Like the Wedding Party
Never take the ushers in your wedding for granted. This can often be a thankless job and it is certainly not as glamorous as being a bridesmaid or a groomsman.
This means that they should be invited to the same things as your bridesmaids and your groomsmen. This includes pre-wedding dinners or parties, bachelor or bachelorette parties, and definitely the rehearsal dinner.
Once again, remember that it is easy for ushers to feel left out as they will not be spending as much time with you during the ceremony. Not to mention, they actually have to put in the work – show people to their seats, deal with elderly people, etc. – not just stand for pictures.
As such, you should work to make them feel included. This includes anything that happens after the ceremony as well. For instance, if there is a photoshoot of the wedding party, then make sure they are in it.
If you are handing out presents, they should have one as well.
How Do You Ask Ushers to Be in Your Wedding?
Always try to make an effort with the moment and to make it as meaningful as possible – you should also ask people to be ushers as soon as possible so that they are not an afterthought – finally, ensure that they are included in all activities too.
