Home > 120+ Funny TikTok Quotes: Make Your Friends Laugh

120+ Funny TikTok Quotes: Make Your Friends Laugh

120+ Funny TikTok Quotes: Make Your Friends Laugh

120+ TikTok Funny Quotes: Make Your Friends Laugh

It’s official — TikTok is the most famous social media platform in 2020. And to be frank, it seems like it’ll hold its ground for a couple of more years! If you’re thinking about going from scrolling the For You page to making your own TikTok videos, you’d better start now! Why not start by checking out our list of funny TikTok quotes.

Growing your follower count certainly won’t happen overnight, but it’ll happen. Although there are many strategies to help you grow faster, paying attention to your caption and bio seems to be the most important. Why not get some inspiration from this list of funny TikTok quotes?

That’s why I decided to write a long list of the best funny TikTok quotes. Now let’s ”Make ‘Em Laugh!

The Best Funny TikTok Quotes for Captions and Bios

  1. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
  2. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
  3. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
  4. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
  5. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  6. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
  7. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
  8. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
  9. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
  10. At every party, there are two kinds of people — those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they’re usually married to each other.
  11. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.
  12. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
  13. Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
  14. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
  15. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?… He’s a mile away, and you’ve got his shoes!
  16. I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
  17. Inside me, there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
  18. As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
  19. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
  20. He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.
  21. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
  22. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  23. I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
  24. Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then, by all means, follow that path.
  25. Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’
  26. I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
  27. I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
  28. I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
  29. You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
  30. Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.
  31. I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.
  32. Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.
  33. Usher: Bride or groom?. Wedding guest: It should be perfectly obvious, I’m neither!
  34. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
  35. The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
  36. A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
  37. Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
  38. As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
  39. Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110% unless the job is a statistician.
  40. Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’
  41. I never forget a face — but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  42. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
  43. Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer.
  44. My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
  45. There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.
  46. Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘awesome’ ends with ‘me’ and ‘ugly’ starts with ‘u’.
  47. I choked on a carrot this afternoon, and all I could think was, ‘I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.’
  48. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch — I call it lunch.
  49. I am not lazy; I am on energy-saving mode.
  50. It sure is strange that after Tuesday, the rest of the week spells WTF.
  51. My great-grandma started giggling at a barbecue, and when I asked what’s funny, she said, Everyone here is alive because I got laid.
  52. Farts are like children. I’m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
  53. Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.
  54. You call it ‘nagging’. I call it, ‘Listen to what I said the first time.
  55. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.
  56. Yes, I know there is a really special place in Hell for me. It is called a throne.
  57. Always be yourself, unless you can be Beyonce, then always be Beyonce.
  58. Never make the same mistake twice. Unless he’s hot.
  59. I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.
  60. It’s a beautiful day. I think I’ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
  61. I thought I was in a bad mood, but it’s been a few years, so I guess this is who I am now.
  62. What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.
  63. What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS? ‘Great job, you missed the bloody exit, you f**king disgrace.’
  64. I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
  65. You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.
  66. My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
  67. Only trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie.
  68. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The mom in E.T. had an alien living in her house for days and she never even noticed.
  69. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
  70. When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.
  71. The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.
  72. Hey, train wreck, this isn’t your station.
  73. Finally, my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls.
  74. I am not an early bird or night owl. I am some form of a permanently exhausted pigeon.
  75. Life Status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
  76. I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.
  77. First, God created man. Then he had a better idea…
  78. Everyday, thousands of innocent plants are killed by Vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat Bacon.
  79. I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say, you’re next. So next time I was at a funeral, I poked them and said, you’re next.
  80. I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  81. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
  82. I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names.
  83. I never let my schooling interfere with my education.
  84. I can resist everything except temptation.
  85. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
  86. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  87. Alcohol doesn’t solve your problems, but neither does milk.
  88. When people ask me how many people work here, I say about a third of them.
  89. Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
  90. Born to party but forced to work.
  91. The unfortunate yet truly exciting thing about your life is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.
  92. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
  93. The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.
  94. The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
  95. When they hand you your diploma, keep moving, just in case they try to take it back.
  96. Graduation: A ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it.
  97. High school was easy. It was like riding a bike, except the bike was on fire, the ground was on fire, and everything was on fire because it was hell.
  98. It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
  99. You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes are closed.
  100. Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.
  101. If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d be poor.
  102. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.
  103. Are you always so stupid, or is today a special occasion?
  104. I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.
  105. If you find me offensive, I suggest you quit finding me.
  106. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  107. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  108. I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.
  109. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
  110. Always remember that you’re unique, just like everyone else.
  111. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  112. My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
  113. Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
  114. Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.
  115. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep — not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
  116. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
  117. With age comes wisdom, but in my case, age comes alone.
  118. I don’t care what others say or think about me; at least I am attractive to mosquitoes.
  119. There are some idiots who always answer No to every question, now tell me. Are you one of them?
  120. Everyone is a psycho, and the average of all psychos is what we call normal.
  121. If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Final Thoughts

I hope this post made you giggle! That concludes our massive list of funny TikTok quotes.

To make the most of these funny quotes, try to align them with the famous TikTok Trends. For instance, when doing the “Wipe It Down” challenge, use a quote like, “Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.”

Now go on and have fun!

Leave a Comment