If you’re wondering what the average age difference of couples is, it is hard to say as specific countries give you different results. In America, there is normally a gap of around 3 years maximum. This guide not only takes a look at these statistics, but some additional information that you may like, such as does age affect a relationship, and the pros and cons of dating someone who is older.
What Is the Average Age Difference of Couples?
As mentioned, the answer depends on the specific country that you are looking at. In the United States, the average age gap for heterosexual couples is around 2.3 years of age.
In western countries in general, studies have shown that 8% of heterosexual couples have an age gap of 10 years or more, while 25% of homosexual couples and 15% of lesbian couples have age gaps of 10 years or more. Data from the United States also shows that in 85.1% of heterosexual relationships, it is the male who is older.
Culture comes into play when discussing age differences, especially when taking a look at developing countries. Chinese culture has superstitions about age difference – they say that it is bad luck to date someone who is 3-6 years younger or older than you are.
Why Are Age Gaps Frowned Upon in The West?
This is a more complex question that I wanted to look at. The truth is that most people do not care, unless the age gap is considerable, like by 10 years or more. They would also only care if it’s the woman that is the older one in the relationship. They care more about the woman being older because of societal norms.
It is almost always the man that is older in the west, so a woman taking this role can be strange. Plus, they would view these women as cougars as the only way they only would have been able to get the younger man is by sexualizing themselves. The west also frowns upon relationships where the man is decades older, as they think the man lured and trapped their female partner in.
What Is Considered a Big Age Gap?
In general, age gaps of around 10 years or more are considered big. This is a whole decade apart which means that there are a lot of differences in values, maturity and outlook. Plus, people will easily be able to tell that you are older if you are 10 years apart – you would have many differences.
Is A 20 Year Age Gap Acceptable?
Considering what that was mentioned about dating someone who is 10 years older, dating someone who is 20 years older is definitely not a good idea. You would be too incompatible. Of course, all this is pretty general. It all depends case by case. You may have found the love of your life who is 20 years older and that is fine.
Can An Older Woman Have a Successful Relationship with A Younger Man?
Apart from a few questionable people raising their eyebrows, there is nothing wrong with a younger man dating an older woman. It would not be a problem if you are younger than your partner. In general, these types of relationships can be successful as the woman will be more mature yet comforting which would make her wiser and able to handle situations better.
What Do You Do If You’re Insecure About Age in A Relationship?
If there is an age gap between you and your partner and you are embarrassed about it, this is completely normal. You will find the below points useful. It runs through some information to look out for. For starters, you’re probably projecting your feelings onto other people.
The truth is that no one really cares about what others think and are doing, so if you’re worrying that everyone is judging you, it’s just you projecting what you actually feel inside. Most of the time, people only judge if you are dating someone who is noticeably much older.
Plus, even if people are judging, it should not matter to you as you are with the love of your life. Age mostly has nothing to do with how successful your relationship would be so you should not pay them any mind.
Society has vastly changed too. So many things that used to be taboo or considered wrong are now a part of culture. Many people get married later in life now, so there are quite big age gaps between them and their younger partners. You don’t have to feel alone.
Of course, you can speak to a professional for help. They would guide you through how irrational your thoughts have been. You can go to therapy with your partner if you want to work this out.
How Do You Know If Your Partner Is the Right One?
As we have discussed, age doesn’t really matter in a relationship, unless your partner is older. However, there are a number of other factors that do affect it. Let’s talk about them.
Views and Values
Although you may think that the relationship that you and your partner share is good, it may not work out well in the end if you don’t share the same views and values. You will begin to fight, and you would especially get into a lot of disagreements if you ever have a child.
Family
Family is not a dealbreaker when it comes to a relationship, but it is definitely something that you should consider. You should keep in mind what your partner’s family is like, and more importantly, whether they are the type of people that you want in your life. They may have a criminal history or may just not be a good person.
Schedule
Of course, schedule is another factor to consider. There is no way the two of you would be able to have a healthy relationship if your schedules don’t let you spend much time together. You would gradually get less attention and feel unimportant. This would get bad once you have a child, as you would feel like your partner is not there in your lives.
Communication
In line with the above point, you should consider how the communication is like between you. You want to be in a relationship with someone that understands you clearly and vice versa. You should also be able to be fully comfortable around them to tell them whatever you are feeling.
Otherwise, they may end up pursuing their goals and dreams and not help you with yours as there was no communication about this front.
Love & Intimacy
If you feel like the intimacy has died in your relationship, then it might be time to end things. You need passion for true love, which you might find from somebody else.
How Do You Know You Are Ready to Get Married?
If you’re in a serious relationship and are wondering whether you should pop the question, this section will help. It runs through all the points to consider that will tell you whether it’s the right time to get married.
Let’s get to it.
You Are Financially Stable Enough
There is no way you should get married if you are not financially stable. You will be starting a life with another person, so you need to make enough money to live comfortably. Not only do you need a good income, but you need to make sure that you have job stability as well.
You Are Mature Enough
You also need to make sure that you are mature enough to spend your life with someone else. Also remember what a big commitment getting married is and ask yourself whether this is something that you’re ready for – you may still be immature and flake when you get with responsibilities.
You Have Found the Right One
If you are dating someone you think is the love of your life, then marrying them would not be a bad idea. You could pop the question and stay engaged for a couple of years so that you can lock things down.
You are Ready for It
If the above checks out, it might be a good time to get married if this is also something that you have been thinking about for a while. It would also be a good idea in case your partner has been talking about tying the knot to friends and family.
What Are the Benefits of Dating Someone Older?
I touched on a couple of benefits when dating someone who is older. Let’s get started.
Emotionally Mature Partner
One of the biggest pros of dating someone who is older is the fact that you would be dating a more mature person. So, you won’t have to worry about any petty arguments arising. As they are more mature, the relationship would be more interesting as they would guide you through certain situations.
You Don’t Have to Worry About Finances
As you are dating someone who is older than you, they are probably more financially stable. You won’t have to worry about being strapped for cash, as they most likely are doing quite well for themselves.
There is A Good Understanding
I personally am a big fan of dating someone older as these individuals tend to be wiser and smarter. So, they will also be more understanding and caring.
There is More Romantic
Lastly, older individuals tend to be more romantic. They have to compete with people your age, and they also have to worry about this if they are much older. So, they end up spoiling you and being very romantic.
What Are the Disadvantages of Dating Someone Older?
Just like there are advantages to this, there are also disadvantages that we have to talk about.
Let’s get to it.
They Can be Controlling
A common issue that many users face when dating older, especially if your partner is much older is that they are more controlling of you. Like I mentioned earlier, they have to compete with people your age so they probably are jealous and watching your every move. This can get toxic quickly so you should definitely keep this in mind.
There is Less Exciting
If you are dating someone who is especially older than you, then they may not share the same interests and values as you. It can be hard to start a family because of this.
As they do not share the same values, starting conversations with them, especially when the two of you are getting to know each other can be an issue. You might find that things are not that exciting either.
No Future
This point is not applicable unless you are dating someone who is very much older. I’m talking about potentially having no family with them. They may be too old to have children, so you would never be able to have kids.
You should also consider that they may not want to marry you as they see no point in this because of their age.
What is the Average Marriage Rate?
In case you want to take things further and tie the knot with your partner, I thought about wrapping this article up by touching on the average marriage rate. The answer is that it drastically differs depending on where you live. But in the United States, it was around 5.1 percent per 1000 in 2020.
Final Thoughts
In my ultimate guide, the average age for couples is 2.3 years. I also ran through some additional information that you may like, what factors affect a relationship (since age does not necessarily matter). Some of these factors include views and values, intimacy, and how busy your partner is.
In case you wish to date someone, who is older, this guide has got you covered. We have run through all the pros and cons of going this route.
Hopefully you found all the points discussed useful.
