When an affair partner went back to his wife it can leave the other individual emotionally confused and broken forcing them to face an array of emotions from betrayal to guilt and deception.
Dealing with such a situation is no easy task and it demands a mature approach to navigate this emotional turmoil.
While the immediate surge of negative emotions might feel insurmountable it’s important to remember that heal begins with acceptance.
Addressing your emotions understanding the affair partner’s choice to return to their marital bond and using this experience as a tool to foster personal growth can be stepping stones towards recovery.
But what happens when the deception and assumption of a long term relationship turn into a mirror reflecting your worst fears?
Affair Partner’s Return
Quite often men go back to their wives after an affair due to various realizations. One of them being the recognition that their actions were based on unfair or untrue assumptions.
This return is frequently motivated by fear of the unknown and the complicated nature of leaving a marriage which invariably drives the man to end the affair and retreat back to his wife.
The Realizations After An Affair
On reflection men often realize that what they were seeking could always be found at home with their spouse.
The affair might have felt fresh like a breath of fresh air or an exciting adventure at the onset but eventually, the man sees the other woman for who she truly is and realizes that the affair is not what it initially seemed.
It’s important to note that affairs starting with deception and lies hardly evolve into a healthy or long-term relationship.
Men in many cases compartmentalize the affair and marriage having a myriad of emotions associated with each.
But the guilt of causing hurt to a loved one often leads them back home.
However not all men return to their wives. Some have already reached a bitter conclusion that their marriage has become a dead-end.
Even for those who go back it’s no guarantee their wives will welcome them back with open arms.
Expectations In Affair Relationships
One of the initial attractions in an affair is the idea of a relationship that’s free from the usual responsibilities and problems of a regular family life. The rush of emotional attachment and physical intimacy in an affair is often mistaken for love.
However as things progress women in affairs start to develop certain expectations and demands akin to those in long-term relationships. They start to desire a man all to themselves which in turn starts to add pressure and stress to the relationship.
Gradually the once enticing affair begins to look more like dirty laundry.
An affair begins with lies and deception. This dishonesty establishes an unhealthy foundation that barely stands a chance to develop into a sustained healthy relationship.
An affair is often a bubble of fantasy doomed to burst sooner or later.
Guilt And The Desire To Repair
The realization often hits home that their actions have caused terrible pain and damage to someone they deeply care about. The guilt of hurting their wives and often their children instigates a desire in many men to repair their wrongdoings.
Gut Instinct and Reality Check
As time passes married men involved in an affair often have a reality check. The affair partner starts appearing less like a fantasy and more like a mistake.
Suddenly they become aware of the gross unfairness of their actions and guilt starts to set in.
Fear and Uncertainty
Going through an affair opens a man’s eyes to the complexities and difficulties of breaking off an existing marriage.
The fear of the unknown combined with guilt often motivates them to break things off with the ex-OW and return to their wife.
Realizing the Value of a Marriage
Often times these men realize that what they sought in the affair is already at home with their wife. A sense of regret and the desire to right their wrong leads them to end the affair and mend their marriage.
Poor Chances For Long-Term Affairs
The common question asked by many mistresses about why married men return to their wives after an affair can be broken down simply: affairs seldom have a solid foundation for a long-term relationship.
Mostly it’s a fantasy land where men can compartmentalize their affair and marriage.
Over time the man realizes the affair won’t solve his problems at home. He understands he foolishly acted on assumptions about what life would be like with the other woman.
But soon reality bites hard and the fantasy lands him into a world of logistical difficulties and increased stress.
Women in affairs often exhibit relationship-like demands and expectations. In such circumstances the man feels pressured making him wake up to the reality that the affair partner is not what she seemed in the fantasy world.
Furthermore when the emotional attachment grows the post-affair guilt intensifies. The fear of betraying their spouse and the possibility of hurting children lights up a sense of urgency to mend the broken bond with their wives.
As the man begins to see the mistress in light of reality the affair loses its sparkle. The negative emotions like guilt doubt and regret become too much to bear leading many to end the affair and return to their wives.
The stark truth is that affairs which spawn out of deception and lies have slim odds of transforming into a healthy mature adult relationship.
The sense of dishonesty manipulation and the potential financial and emotional stress are often enough to realign the cheating husband’s perspective.
Contrary to the assumptions that the mistress may hold love cannot be birthed from deceit. It cannot blossom amidst lies but is formed over time through honesty mutual respect and emotional connection.
Therefore mistresses are advised to seek a man who is more than a dishonest cheat. An affair with a married man seldom sees a happy ending.
A healthy fulfilling relationship requires far more than the illusions painted by the fairy dust of an affair.
Undeniably not all men return to their wives after an affair. Nevertheless the odds often lean towards the man returning to his wife acknowledging his mistakes and mending things.
It does not mean however that it is always welcomed by the wife who was betrayed.
Ultimately the complications and pain brought about by the affair push the man to realize the true worth of the love and life shared with his wife.
It’s a testament that the cheat was merely living in a fantasy world and that in reality what they truly yearn for is waiting at home.