Lifestyle

Want to get a Japanese tattoo but not sure if it is considered cultural appropriation? Well, the answer isn’t as straightforward as you might have hoped.

Here is all that you need to about Japanese tattoos and whether or not they may be offensive:

Is Getting a Japanese Tattoo Cultural Appropriation?

There are some Japanese tattoos that you can get without appropriating Japanese culture or being insensitive – however, it is important to understand which elements of Japanese culture and customs are not available to foreigners and, therefore, shouldn’t be used as inspiration for tattoos.

What Kind of Japanese Tattoos are Cultural Appropriation?

Before getting any kind of tattoo, you should be aware of the history behind the art style, the symbol, story, etc. If the tattoo that you want to get holds deep cultural or spiritual meaning to the people of Japan, then it is best not to get it.

Even if it may not be considered cultural appropriation, it is considered insensitive. Decorating your body with symbols that are significant to others, particularly without understanding their importance can be disrespectful to others.

The other thing to avoid is choosing images or symbols simply because you like the aesthetic of them. With most tattoos, simply want a tattoo because it looks good isn’t an issue at all.

However, when it comes to culturally relevant tattoos, there is a problem. Once again, this is because these tattoos have meaning to people. Therefore, simply getting them because they look cool or pretty isn’t giving these symbols or images the due respect.

Misunderstanding the Meaning of Japanese Symbols

The other issue with getting a Japanese tattoo is that most people misunderstand the meaning behind tattoos.

Pop culture has made Japanese culture and Japanese tattoos popular. However, you should bear in mind that books, movies, and TV shows that haven’t been created by native Japanese can often get quite a few things wrong.

Therefore, if you don’t do enough research on various designs and symbols, you can end up getting a tattoo that has a different meaning to what you wanted.

Take the Japanese dragon, for instance.

It is believed that dragon mythology was brought over from China. Nevertheless, this mythology evolved quite differently in Japan.

In China, dragons are seen as forces of good and define positive traits like strength, wisdom, and courage. In Japan, though, this isn’t always the case.

While Japanese dragons can be considered god-like, they can be either good or evil. More often than not, the dragons in Japan are the villains of the story. Therefore, getting a dragon tattoo isn’t necessarily a good thing.

If you do want to get a Japanese tattoo, always do your research. This is the only way to ensure that you aren’t culturally appropriating images and symbols.

Can You Get a Kanji Japanese Tattoo?

Tattoos written in the kanji script are arguably some of the most tattoos around. And, it is only natural to want to get such a tattoo.

The script is so beautiful and majestic looking and as it is quite old as well, it can lend greater meaning to the word or phrase that you want to get tattooed on your body.

Here is the problem, though, kanji is an incredibly complex and intricate script. As such, if you aren’t proficient in the written language, you are likely to get your tattoo wrong.

In fact, if you were to ask native writers to look at kanji tattoos, they would inform you that the majority of these tattoos are wrong.

Keep in mind that getting a kanji tattoo wrong isn’t just like misspelling a word in English. No, in some cases, even the slightest shift in the positioning of a character can completely change the word.

It is due to this that you shouldn’t trust online translators. They will lead you astray and you could end up getting a tattoo that is offensive or insulting to the people who can actually read it.

If you do want to get a kanji tattoo, make sure to find someone who is fluent both in English as well as kanji. This is because there are rarely direct translations from one word or phrase to another. As such, you will require someone who is fluent in both languages to get an accurate translation.

The History of Tattooing in Japan

Before you get a Japanese tattoo, it is also important to understand how permanent body art is viewed in Japan.

Tattoos in Japan are a lot older than most people realize – before 300 AD. However, between 300 and 600 AD, they began to take on a negative connotation. During this period, criminals were increasingly tattooed as a way of marking them out from the rest of the population.

As the tattoos began to become associated with criminal gangs like the Yakuza, they were outlawed within the country.

Even today, you may not be let into certain hot springs, public water parks, and similar public spaces with visible tattoos.

You should also be aware that the older generation is especially disapproving of tattoos in general. As such, you may get some stares or accusing looks.

If you are planning on living in or visiting Japan, then this is something to think about.

Are All Japanese Tattoos a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

No, not all Japanese tattoos can be considered a form of cultural appropriation – however, you do have to be careful when choosing your design, symbol, or image to ensure that your choice doesn’t encroach on the cultural or religious elements of Japan.

Understanding the Historical Significance of Japanese Tattoos

When considering the cultural implications of Japanese tattoos it’s crucial to understand their historical significance.

In Japan tattoos have a complex and often taboo status.

Traditionally tattoos were associated with criminals and morally impaired individuals leading to their stigmatization.

These negative connotations still persist today with tattoos being linked to organized crime in Japanese society.

As a result Japanese tattoos are almost non-existent in Japan itself.

However outside of Japan Japanese tattoos have gained popularity thanks to Western influence.

It’s vital to recognize the historical context and societal attitudes towards tattoos in Japan to ensure respectful engagement with this art form.

By acknowledging these nuances individuals interested in Japanese tattoos can navigate the issue of cultural appropriation with caution and thoughtfulness.

Want to buy macrame décor for your home? Or, perhaps you have seen macrame clothes or jewelry and would like to wear them. However, is this considered cultural appropriation?

Well, here is a breakdown of macrame and whether or not using it is considered a form of cultural appropriation:

Is Macrame a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

Macrame is originally from Arab countries, eventually passing onto other nations via travelers and traders – despite this, macrame doesn’t have cultural ties to a specific country or group and, as such, macrame isn’t seen as a form of cultural appropriation.

Why is Macrame Not a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

Well, to understand this, you have to understand the history of macrame.

Historians believe that macrame got its beginnings from thirteenth century Arab weavers. The weavers used this technique with excess fabric on their hand loomed products. The thread and the yarn along the edges were tied off into fringes.

In fact, the macrame is a Spanish inspired word. It is believed to be derived from the Arabic word migramah which means embroidered veil or ornamental fringe.

After the Moorish conquest, this art form was taken to Spain before moving onto Italy. After this, it began to spread throughout Europe. It was introduced to Queen Mary II in the late seventeenth century.

However, macrame began to really spread across the globe thanks to sailors. It was they who created macrame objects while at sea. They then sold or traded these things away once they reached land.

Interestingly enough, the sailors also traded and bartered knots for producing macrame around the world as well. They had the stronghold of secret knots. It was only once these knots and their associated designs became published in books and magazines did the designs become available to every household.

Therefore, the main reason that macrame is not considered a form of cultural appropriation is because while it got its beginnings in the Arab world it has been used in other countries for a very long time.

As such, it has been a part of so many cultures for so long that it isn’t really claimed by one in particular.

Can Macrame Ever Be Considered a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

Well, this does depend on how it is used. For instance, if you use macrame for hanging pots or simple as a random form of decoration, then it shouldn’t be an issue.

The same can be said if you have the odd rug or other embellishment in your home.

That being said, you do need to be aware of what kind of décor theme or vibe you are trying to create with your home.

Now, macrame has been used in seaside homes for quite a while to give a nautical effect. This isn’t a form of cultural appropriation as it has to do with the ocean.

On the other hand, there are those that use macrame to create a bohemian vibe in their home. They may also use patterns that are associated with certain cultures, including Native American.

In this instance, macrame can be considered a form of cultural appropriation or cultural insensitivity.

Most people will adopt boho themes in their home or in their fashion and jewelry without fully appreciating where these styles have come from.

The bohemian trend as a whole tends to heavily borrow from marginalized cultures. However, you will almost always find these items from large commercial companies who mark up prices without contributing any of the profits to the communities that they have profited from.

If used like this, then macrame can be considered largely problematic.

How to Avoid Cultural Insensitivity with Macrame?

The first thing to do is to avoid purchasing macrame from big corporations. Instead, look for local hand looms, particularly those who belong to marginalized or indigenous communities.

For one thing, you can guarantee that your money is going to communities that need and deserve these funds. This reduces the risk of exploitation.

The other benefit is that you also get access to beautiful, authentic pieces that are often a great deal more customized than anything you can find in a mainstream store or website.

You will also give yourself the opportunity to learn a bit more about macrame, its roots, and how it continues to be utilized in smaller communities across the world. In turn, this will end up being a far better way for you to decorate your home or your body.

Can You Employ Macrame in Your Home and Wardrobe?

Yes, you absolutely can. Just make sure to consider the items that you are buying. Where did they come from and what was the inspiration for the design.

Be mindful of your own heritage, particularly if you come from a group that has marginalized other races, ethnicities, or cultures. In this instance, there are limits to the styles that you can wear and the items that you can use to decorate your home.

As long as your macrame items or clothes don’t infringe on somebody else’s culture or beliefs, you should be fine in utilizing it. It can be used in your home and worn as fashion.

Is Macrame Considered Cultural Appropriation?

Macrame is an art form that began in the Arab world but quickly spread to other countries, including Europe – it has been a part of European cultures for many centuries and, as such, isn’t considered a form of cultural appropriation – you should be mindful of how you use it, nonetheless.

Want to get a dragon tattoo but not sure if it is a form of cultural appropriation? Well, then you have come to the right place!

Here you can discover whether or not dragon tattoos are a form of cultural appropriation or not:

Are Dragon Tattoos a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

As dragons do belong to various cultures and literature, a dragon tattoo isn’t always considered cultural appropriation – however, you do have to consider the kind of dragon you are getting, what other details are included in your tattoo, and if you truly understand the meaning behind your ink.

Why are Dragons Not Always a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

The reality is that dragon mythology is quite pervasive. While dragons are commonly linked to Asian cultures such as Japanese and Chinese, these kinds of legends are present all over the world.

Dragons have been found in Middle Eastern cultures, Greek and Roman cultures, and even Medieval Europe. In fact, the flag of Wales has a large dragon on it. Therefore, to say that dragons as a whole is cultural appropriation is far from correct.

To add to this, dragons are also found in literature such as Beowulf and The Hobbit. Even Shakespeare refers to dragons in some of his plays.

In this sense, dragons are a mythology that belong to many cultures throughout the world instead of one. Due to this, you would have a hard time saying that this mythological creature is a form of appropriation.

When are Dragons Cultural Appropriation?

While you may be able to find dragons throughout the world, these dragons aren’t all the same.

For instance, in Asian cultures such as China and Japan, dragons are often seen as gods or god-like creatures. In Japan, a certain God is believed to be the guardian of the Shinto religion. These creatures are often seen as protectors, too.

In the Middle East and much of Europe, however, dragons are seen as evil beings. This is because they are associated with the serpent which is seen as being a symbol of the devil. As such, the dragon is also seen as a demonic entity.

To add to this, dragons don’t really have as much importance in European history or culture anymore. Whereas in certain Asian cultures, dragons continue to be a revered part of rituals and customs.

Therefore, if you get a tattoo of a dragon based on Chinese or Japanese dragons it may not necessarily seem like a form of appropriation but rather insensitivity. This is because you don’t hold these creatures in the same level of esteem as natives of those cultures.

To add to this, in Japan, dragons have a bit more complex association with culture. In some instances, they are seen as good and others are seen as evil. Not understanding this distinction can also sometimes be seen as a form of insensitivity.

Can Researching Dragon Mythology Make It More Acceptable to Get a Dragon Tattoo?

This is a tricky question to answer. This is because you can get a different answer depending on the person.

Some people may appreciate that you have taken the time to understand the legends and thus to get a more meaningful tattoo. Others, however, may want to guard their culture a little bit more fiercely.

It is also a good idea to be mindful of where you are. If you are a foreigner living in China or Japan or live among people from these countries, it is best to look for a different type of dragon tattoo.

As you can’t guarantee how each person would feel about it, it is best to err on the side of caution and to avoid creating any issues. Of course, you also have the option to get a dragon tattoo in an area that isn’t quite visible to the public.

How to Get a Dragon Tattoo That Isn’t Culturally Insensitive?

It is a good idea to stick with dragons that are based on European myths or on pop culture dragons like those from Beowulf, The Hobbit, Game of Thrones, etc.

One of the biggest differences between Asian and European dragons is that the European based ones have wings. The myths surrounding them also have them breathing fire and hoarding treasure.

The Asian dragons are a bit more serpent like and have a more sinuous physique. The European dragons appear more closely related to lizards.

There are actually more inspiration for such dragon tattoos than most people realize. Go ahead and do some research and you should be able to easily find a tattoo that you like.

If you do want to get dragons based on Asian legends, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, it is best to get dragons in either blue or red. These are lucky colors whereas black is believed to be an unlucky color.

Also, limit the addition of any other Asian elements in your tattoo as this really would be considered cultural appropriation. At all costs, steer clear of tattoos with any kind of words or phrases written in Chinese or Japanese script.

Not only do these tend to be quite offensive but they also tend to be grammatically incorrect. Unless you are fluent in the written language or know someone who is, this should be avoided at all costs.

Are Dragon Tattoos Considered Cultural Appropriation?

As dragons – and dragon tattoos – are present in many different cultures, the tattoos themselves may not be considered cultural appropriation – however, you should be careful about the design and surrounding elements of your tattoo as these may be considered offensive to some.

It can often seem that leis are everywhere, not just Hawaii. Considering leis are a Hawaiian tradition, though, it is only natural to wonder if it is cultural appropriation.

Here is what you need to know about leis and whether or not they fall under cultural appropriation:

Is Wearing a Lei a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

This depends on the circumstance – for instance, if you have been given a lei by a person of Hawaiian descent, particularly in Hawaii then it is not considered cultural appropriation – however, if you are wearing leis at a Hawaiian themed party on the mainland then it is considered appropriation.

What is the Cultural Significance of Leis?

Leis have a long history in Hawaii. They were first brought over by the Polynesians who made their way from Tahiti.

They may be largely made up of flowers now but in earlier days they were created from flowers, seeds, nuts, and even animal bone and teeth.

Although leis were originally a way of beautifying people, they gained a stronger meaning between communities. Due to this, leis were considered a symbol of Hawaii, religion, and hula.

In fact, when two chiefs from warring tribes exchanged leis, they did so as a sign of peace.

People give each other leis as a sign of friendship and love. Therefore, you must always expect a lei and should never reject one from a native Hawaiian as it is considered highly offensive.

What’s more, there is a whole ceremony of removing the lei once it is presented to you. You can never remove it in the presence of the person who gave it to you.

Instead, you must wait until once of you has moved to a different location. You must then bury the lei in your backyard or hang it on a tree limb.

In case you want to send it into the ocean, you must first untie the knot and let the flowers float freely in the water.

Why Can Leis Be Considered Cultural Appropriation

Have you noticed how leis are usually found at Hawaii-themed parties? However, these are never thrown by native Hawaiians.

Instead, it is by people who have borrowed and diluted certain aspects of Hawaiian culture to have a good time. In many cases, these parties and the elements surrounding them are based of stereotypical ideas about Hawaii.

In reality, Hawaii has a long, rich, and beautiful culture – one that few people take the time or trouble to understand.

This especially goes for leis.

In places outside of Hawaii, most of the leis are plastic as flower ones can be expensive and wilt quickly too. This is quite unnatural considering the importance of the lei.

Furthermore, most people give away or accept leis without any consideration at all. They don’t observe any of the traditions that are associated with the lei, thus, stripping it of its meaning.

Instead, it is turned into a party favor or a decoration.

Whenever this is done, it is a slap in the face of people who have a deep symbolism for their lei and take great measures to maintain the respect surrounding it.

Understanding the Troubling History Between the US and Hawaii

Despite Hawaii being considered a part of the US, the history between the US and Hawaii is a rocky one.

This is because Hawaii existed as an independent monarchy for a long time until the US troops invaded Hawaii and overthrew this monarchy. The people of Hawaii didn’t want to be a US state but they were forced into it nonetheless.

The problems don’t end here. Throughout the years, the US government has attempted to unfairly tax Hawaiians while simultaneously trying to strip away their history, traditions, and even the very land they live on.

Why are Leis Especially Problematic Now?

The wearing of leis by non Hawaiians can be seen as especially problematic at this time.

For one thing, the people of Hawaii are fighting harder than ever to preserve their culture, cultural heritage, and their home. This includes trying to ensure that people don’t build on sacred land or tear down important structures.

Therefore, wearing leis at parties on the mainland or elsewhere can be seen as making a mockery of this struggle.

To add to this, the islands are suffering from over tourism, skyrocketing property prices due to mainlanders claiming permanent residency, and more.

It is important that people don’t make light of Hawaiian culture, particularly when so many people are trying to preserve it in their homeland.

Are Leis Ever Appropriate?

There are times when leis may be considered appropriate. In particular, if you are visiting Hawaii and a local gifts you with a lei, you must accept.

However, make sure to read up on the proper protocol. This includes how to wear the lei properly, how to remove it respectfully, and how to store it properly. This proves that you respect the culture and what the lei stands for.

You can also accept a lei from a native Hawaiian on the mainland or somewhere else. They have the right to give you the lei so it would be rude to reject the offer.

Once again, though, make sure that you ask about how to accept, wear, and remove the lei so that you can show your host that you respect their culture and beliefs.

Is Wearing a Lei Cultural Appropriation?

If you aren’t Hawaiian or haven’t been given a lei by a native Hawaiian then you wearing a lei is a form of cultural appropriation – this is because they are various rules and rituals regarding a lei and if you don’t perform them you aren’t giving the lei the proper respect.

Hair sticks were quite the trend in the 90s and they are making a comeback once more. However, if you are someone who isn’t from an Asian culture is it appropriate for you to wear this style?

Here is all that you need to know about hair sticks and cultural appropriation?

Is Wearing Hair Sticks a Form of Cultural Appropriation?

This all depends on what kind of hair sticks you are wearing as well as how you are using them as an accessories – as long as you are respectful of hair sticks and understand your limits in borrowing them from foreign cultures it shouldn’t be a problem.

Why are Hair Sticks Not Considered Cultural Appropriation?

Well, one of the reasons has to do with the fact that hair sticks don’t actually belong to a single culture.

Although hair sticks are traditionally associated with Chinese and Japanese cultures, they have also been used by the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, and Africans for thousands of years.

As hair sticks have been used in Europe, Africa, and Asia, it is difficult to condemn a single person or a single race of appropriating a culture.

There is also the fact that most hair sticks aren’t considered a symbol of culture. Instead, they were merely hair accessories. Hair sticks were either used to enhance a hairstyle or used to keep the hair in place.

Due to this, you can wear hair sticks – within certain limits – without being accused of cultural appropriation.

Hair Sticks vs. Chopsticks – The Important Difference

Now, before continuing with this discussion, it is important for you to understand the difference between hair sticks and chopsticks.

Hair sticks became especially popular in the 90s although back then, they were referred to as chopsticks. Some people still do this today.

Despite this, hair sticks aren’t chopsticks. Hair sticks are decorative tools and accessories for the hair. Chopsticks are used for eating.

As such, to refer to hair sticks as chopsticks is incredibly inappropriate.

On a similar note, you should never use chopsticks in lieu of hair sticks. Always use hair sticks as using chopsticks is culturally insensitive.

Many people also find it quite rude and unnecessary – the equivalent of sticking a fork in your hair.

When is Wearing Hair Sticks Cultural Appropriation?

Although this isn’t true of other cultures, there is some cultural significance to Japanese hair sticks. These may be adorned with symbols of either historical sentiment or religious sentiment.

In some instances, this may be true for Chinese hair sticks as well, particularly if they are celebrating a certain festival. These may be engraved or painted with certain symbols, signs, or words.

You should steer clear of these hair sticks at all costs. These are cultural symbols to people and, as such, will be seen as a form of cultural appropriation.

If you are also wearing these hair sticks in a careless manner, without understanding what they stand for, you will be considered culturally insensitive as well.

Are Your Hair Sticks a Part of a ‘Costume’?

A surefire way to guarantee that you wearing hair sticks is if you are wearing them as accessories as a costume while adopting national dresses from another culture.

If you are doing so with the approval of people from that culture and are wearing it for a cultural event, then it isn’t seen as insensitive or appropriation.

However, if you are wearing the outfit and hair sticks as a costume for a party or to make comedy out of someone else’s culture, then this is both appropriation as well as inappropriate.

In general, avoid wearing hair sticks if the rest of your outfit may already be borrowing heavily from Asian themes. This could appear as though you are trying to put together a costume even if this isn’t your intention.

In addition to this, you shouldn’t wear traditional Chinese or Japanese hairstyles. And, you certainly shouldn’t wear hair sticks in such hairstyles either!

How Should You Choose Hair Sticks?

It is always a good idea to stick with plain hair sticks. Although you can choose different colored hair sticks, you may want to avoid ones that have charms attached to the back.

Also, steer clear of any that have symbols or signs that may be associated with a certain culture or religion.

It is a good idea to always do your research ahead of time and to know which hair sticks have cultural significance. This can prevent you from making mistakes with your purchase.

When Should You Wear Hair Sticks?

You can wear hair sticks to enhance the beauty of a bun or another simple hairstyle. As mentioned, this shouldn’t be anything traditional that is associated with a particular culture.

You should also consider the occasion and the event. Are there going to be people there whose culture is associated with hair sticks?

If so, it is best not to wear them. Even if this isn’t necessary a cultural symbol, you should respect that this may not be the right audience for such a fashion statement.

You should also be mindful of the rest of your outfit. Stick to attire that is associated with your culture or fashion trends so that it doesn’t appear as though you are appropriating anyone’s culture.

Are Hair Sticks Considered Cultural Appropriation?

Hair sticks themselves aren’t considered a form of cultural appropriation – for one thing, they belong to many different cultures and, for another, are an accessory – however, wearing certain hair sticks can appear culturally insensitive and should be avoided by foreigners.

Are Hair Sticks Considered Cultural Appropriation?

Hair sticks themselves aren’t considered a form of cultural appropriation – for one thing they belong to many different cultures and for another are an accessory – however wearing certain hair sticks can appear culturally insensitive and should be avoided by foreigners.

It’s important to be mindful of the significance that hair sticks may hold in specific cultures.

For example Japanese and Chinese hair sticks may be adorned with engraved or painted symbols that hold historical or religious sentiment.

Wearing these hair sticks without understanding their meaning can be seen as a form of cultural appropriation.

Additionally wearing hair sticks as part of a costume or in a careless manner can also be seen as culturally insensitive.

It’s crucial to be respectful and considerate when choosing and wearing hair sticks to avoid unintentionally appropriating another culture.

Most of the time, when we fall in love with a person, we certainly accept them with all their flaws and the good and the bad.

Unlike the movies, you might like many of their habits, and sometimes you might also feel annoyed by some of them.

Whether it is about their loud chewing noise, their constant nagging, smoking, or any other similar habit that you get pretty furious about, you do not have to worry because that is how real life and actual love is supposed to be.

Getting to know your partner, living together, and sharing space with your partner is one of the best things that can happen to you, which is why it is important for you to value your relationship and not throw it away over some petty issue.

This means that if any of your partner’s habits are annoying you lately and you do not have any idea how to deal with your feelings, here is a list of some of the ways you can deal with the situation without having to make it a big deal.

Think of a Solution

While things might seem too overwhelming for you at first, you need to remind yourself that this is the person you love with all your heart and soul, and you promised each other to put your hundred percent effort no matter what.

For this very reason, if you ever come across a situation where you do not know how to exactly tackle the issues, one of the first and foremost things that you can do is try to think of a solution to the problem to make sure things go smoothly between you two.

If any of their habits are annoying you lately, you can also simply begin a conversation with them and describe the issue politely without sounding too selfish or making it look like a complaint about themselves.

Pick Your Battles

It is not very often that you find true love and decide to share your life with someone, from your room to your personal space, which is why whenever you feel like you are getting too irritated by something they are doing, first try to talk to them.

You can also remind yourself about all the good times you had and make sure you do not fight over petty things with each other, as your relationship is worth more than that. This is why you need to always pick your battles wisely.

Instead of nagging about every small issue, you can try to offer them help to solve the problem together like a team. For example, if your partner’s smoking habits bother you, you can ask them to vape instead. However, you also need to guide them about the potential vaping side effects that might occur if they do it too much.

Try Not to Let It Get to You

Sometimes, you get tired of your routine, and even the smallest of things start bothering you. Whether it is about your partner leaving a wet towel on the bed or about taking their shoes off in the wrong place, even these minor issues might make you feel furious.

However, the best idea is not to let it all get to your mood and channel your energy in the right place. This means that you need to try not to take out your work or any other stress on your partner and make things worse for both of you.

If something is annoying you about your partner, try to overcome it and do not let the negative things affect your relationship.

Focus on the Positive

When it comes to dealing with the irritating habits of your partner, there is never a hopeless point where you think things cannot work anymore. This means that you should try to stay as positive about the situation as you can.

This will certainly help you tackle the issue in a better manner and let your partner have the benefit of the doubt by making an effort to improve things. You can also ask them directly and support them to make sure they do not feel cornered or left out.