| Don’t be racist, hate everyone. |
| My blood is made of coffee. |
| Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee. Coincidence? I think not. |
| Let Fools Chase The World. I only want you s: |
| If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters |
| Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin. |
| If you ever think I am ignoring you, I swear I am. My phone is in my hand 24×7 |
| Great Samaritan, cleaned up competitor, particularly skilled napper. |
| Have loads of hair and like revolting things |
| I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness. |
| I’m too busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? |
| There are no winners in life…only survivors. |
| I used to be an atheist, But then I realised I’m God. |
| I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice. |
| When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, It simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way. |
| If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. |
| My favourite kinds of people are the relatives who give money when they leave. 41 |
| We all are a little broken but life won’t stop anyway. |
| I love you with the breath, the smiles and the tears of all my life. |
| You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions. |
| I’m not lazy…I’m on energy saving mode. |
| Some people are alive only Because it’s illegal to kill them. |
| Here to serve… . the feline overlord |
| I am not fat, I am just easier to see. |
| CGPA available for adoption… can’t raise it myself. |
| I’ll be yours forever, just tell me when to start. |
| I can quote (Insert motion picture) superior to anything you and every one of your companions. |
| Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, just like stupid falls from yours |
| I’m cool, but global warming made me HOT. |
| Only dead fish follow the stream. |
| I am not virgin, My life f**ks me every day. |
| I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart. |
| On the off chance that you don’t have anything pleasant to say, come sit by me, and we can ridicule individuals together |
| Space available for advertisement |
| You’re still a little kitten that looks at my eyes, wanting love in this cold world. |
| My father once told me that people listen to you if you tell them that your father told you that. |
| At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes? |
| Scratch Here to see my status |
| If people are trying to bring you down it only means that you are above them. |
| This is mostly a Waluigi fan page—please adjust your expectations accordingly. |
| Fewer people you chill with, less bullshit you deal with |
| I was COOL but Global Warming made me HOT. |
| Who else are you going to follow? Really? |
| I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion. |
| All you trendy people need to quit wearing Nirvana shirts in the event that you don’t even hear them out. |
| My craziness is not everyone’s cup of tea. |
| I work for money, For loyalty Hire a Dog. |
| Instagram Status is Loading |
| Strangely, every girl I talk to falls in love. Just not with me. |
| The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight. |
| flip the coin.. head I am yours, tail you are mine. |
| Sometimes you never realize the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. |
| I have not lost my brain – its moved down on HD some place. |
| I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day |
| Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes. |
| Warning…l know KARATE And few other oriental words. |
| Oh, So your manna argue, Bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON. |
| I trust one day I cherish something the route ladies in plugs love yogurt |
| People of my age are busy with Relation, break up, heart break, patch |
| Contributing to entropy since 1994 |
| REHAB is for quitters ! |
| Uncovered. Regularly Unreliable. Effectively distract |
| Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas !! |
| When life gets tough, always remember that you were the strongest sperm. |
| I used to be an atheist, But then I realised I’m God. |
| Try not to think for a brief moment that I really mind what you need to say |
| Battery about to die, I am about to live ! |
| Simple during childbirth, computerized by outline |
| I was dependent on hokey pokey yet I turned myself around |
| Travelling the world lets me discover myself. |
| I speak my mind and I never mind what I speak. |
| My laziness is like 8; Once I lie down it’s infinite! |
| Hey there! Instagram is using me. |
| I’ve generally believed being famous on Instagram is as about as futile as being rich in syndication |
| Hated by many, wanted by plenty, disliked by some, confronted by none |
| Probably the most talented TV binge watcher you’ll find. |
| It’s amazing how crazy I feel when my phone vibrates and I’m begging it to be you. |
| When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter? |
| After Monday and Tuesday, the even calendar says W T F… |
| Can’t Instagram, only calls! |
| Being Alive is being Offline! |
| An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. |
| Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. |
| Don’t invest emotions, Love is a depreciating asset |
| When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for two years! |
| Spreading love and happiness won’t be an uneasy task anyway. |
| The fool didn’t know it was impossible, so HE DID IT |
| Gifted napper, talker, and ice cream eater. |
| On the off chance that I could whole up my life in one line I would pass on of humiliation |
| Are you a broker in light of the fact that I’d like you to leave me a credit |
| I have this new hypothesis that human youthfulness doesn’t end until your mid thirties. |
| I favor my quips expected |
| I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking… |
| Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … it’s about learning to dance in the rain! |
| If my love for you is a crime, I want to be the most wanted criminal. |
| Hey there! Instagram is using my Internet Data Balance |
| I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see. |
| Silence is the most powerful scream. |
| Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. |
| People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. |
| Amigo, would you be able to ideal model? |
| I’m truly a titan cupcake. Perplexed about crazy rides and dry ice |
| Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right. |
| I’ll hit you so hard even GOOGLE wan’t able to find you. |
| Distance is suck… My mum is so far away from kitchen :-/ |
| You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone. |
| Life on earth is expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun. |
| God gave me a lot of hair, but not a lot of height |
| I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing. |
| I learn from the mistakes of others to whom I have given advice to. |
| I tried to be normal. Worst two minutes of my life. |
| I took a gander at my Instagram photographs and acknowledged I look delightful. |
| Eating an entire apple center in light of the fact that you can’t be tried setting off to the container, let it be known, you’ve done it. |
| Can’t walk… vehicles only..! |
| I’m too busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? |
| Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. |
| By and large, the easy way out advances. Likewise, I am great at parallel stopping. |
| I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe. |
| If you can’t get someone out of your head. Maybe, they are supposed to be there. |
| Hey there! I am sick of using Instagram. |
| I hope Karma slaps you in the face before I do.!! |
| Love is a medicine that can neutralize even a poisoned heart. |
| I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code. |
| I am another precious stone whose importance is yet not discovered. |
| Remember it’s just a bad day, not a bad life. |
| Falling in love is not a choice. Staying in love is. |
| Work for 5 days to live 2 days. |
| Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not. |
| I’m beginning to like Instagram, which is unusual on the grounds that I loathe pictures. |
| Time flies… after you hit the snooze button |
| Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. |
| Let me hurt your face, maybe I got a little relief by doing this. |
| Every time I see you I fall in love all over again. |
| Nothing in the world is free, even Santa comes with a ‘Clause’. |
| I’m not happy its “Friday” I’m happy its “Today”. Love your life 7 days a week. |
| I don’t have much to give you. I’m not a rich man. What I can promise is that everything I do will be for you, always. |
| I don’t discriminate. I hate everyone equally |
| I am who I am, Your approval is not needed. |
| I smile …Because I don’t know WHAT THE HELL is going on. |
| The question isn’t who is going to let me; It’s who is going to stop me. |
| Presently meeting expectations towards a MBA with an accentuation in dream football |
| I don’t insult people, I just describe them. |
| Of all the things I have lost , I miss my mind the most. |
| I’m going to update my status….but better you focus on your own. |
| Looking for rest, rational soundness, & The Shire |
| Fabulous ends in “us.” Coincidence? I think not. |
| You have to sift through a lot of gold to find my dirt. |
| Chocolate doesn’t make inquiries, chocolate gets it |
| Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. |
| I stopped fighting my inner demons because now we are on the same side! |
| Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire:-D |
| Available when to get WiFi Network !! |
| Smile today, cry tomorrow. Read this every day! |
| I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion. |
| I hold the key to the secrets of the universe. I just can’t find the lock. |
| Yes , I m single , & You’ve to be damn beautiful to change it.;) |
| God favor this chaotic situation |
| 3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die. |
| While heaven must surely mourn the loss of one of its own, we mere mortals celebrate your grace. |
| Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people. |
| Acts like summer & walks like rain |
| Stop ! Status under construction: D |
| Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius |
| I have to be funny because being hot is not an option. |
| My one more password got married yesterday. |
| Born to express, not to impress. |
| I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! |
| Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. |
| One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching. |
| Conceived at an exceptionally youthful age |
| the first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest. |
| The hardest part of the business is minding your own. |
| If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. |
| Roses are red Sky is blue ..Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two !!! |
| The idea for dieting: Refrigerators with mirrors! |
| I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am. |
| When you fall for someone’s personality, almost everything about them becomes handsome and beautiful. |
| The person you love is 72.8% water. |
| I may be wrong… but I Doubt it!!! |
| Think beyond practical boundaries (modest text style) |
| Real men stay dedicated to only one girl! |
| I am a performing artist and an essayist and I co-made my breakfast and my child, Malachai. |
| I shouldn’t be permitted to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m tipsy! |
| My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”. |
| I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform things: give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. |
| I’ve been waiting hours and I’ll be waiting for hours more, till my love arrives and my heart’s fulfilled. |
| Can anything be more valuable than our love? Since you are with me, my only measurement is in heartbeats. |
| Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution. |
| Can’t talk, missed calls only. |
| Loving you is like breathing How can I stop? |
| Life F#ck$d me , Now It’s My Turn! |
| Never let your friends feel lonely. Disturb them all the time. |
| I’m a Texan with bunches of sentiments and beautiful hair. |
| Outdoors is purposes |
| When I write Etc., it means End of Thinking Capacity |
| Hey there! Be there. |
| Read books instead of reading my status! |
| Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. |
| There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. |
| My brain is divided into two parts: Right & Left.ln right nothing is left.ln left nothing is right. |
| Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my status… ! |
| Whenever I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem. |
| If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling. |
| God is really creative, i mean.just look at me. |
| No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it. |
| Hey there! I am using Hamam soap! |
| Too busy to update a status |
| I’m a power to be figured with, I figure |
| If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0 |
| Espresso Drinker, e Reader Addict, Blogger. I’m exceptionally occupied and wonderful |
| Presently featuring in my own world show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoes |
| Hey Instagram, I’m using you! |
| Marvelous closures in “us” occurrence? I think not |
| Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. |
| My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. |
| Totally available!! Please disturb me!! |
| Before you, I never believed in forever. Now, I know that is not long enough to spend with you. |
| Without you in my life, I would be incomplete. I pray that I should never know such pain. |
| I am returning to face the truth that an ordinary day is not lager on the shoreline or calamari in the stomach. |
| Don’t blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the m is Silent. |
| Light, waggish, adequate, inexhaustible, demagogic, friendly showcasing friend, independent thousandths |
| Welcome to my Instagram feed, where people come to enjoy me. |
| I can see you checking my Instagram status. |
| Life’s not about money, it’s about love & I love MONEY! |
| I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. I also love the ones who left my life and made it fantastic. |
| Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. |
| Weird is a side effect of awesome. |
| When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot. |
| I Was Born Cool but Global Warming Made Me Hot. |
| If you want to be rude then you should become a celebrity. |
| I’m not certain what number of issues I have in light of the fact that math is one of them |
| There. I joined Instagram. Happy now? |
| Despite everything I don’t comprehend Twitter, however here I am. |
| No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak. |
| OF COURSE! Talk to myself, sometime I need expert advice. |
| If Girls are Oscar, then I am Leonardo DiCaprio. |
| I put the hot in insane |
| I generally feel tragic for seedless watermelons, in light of the fact that imagine a scenario in which they needed infants. |
| I say this; I say that what the hell you want to listen from me? |
| Don’t be sad because of people, they will all die. |
| Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life ! |
| I am no one to harm you. I’ll let karma fuck you. |
| The pillow is my best hair stylist – Waiting for better tomorrow! |
| I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide |
| Of course, I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass! |
| I am walking on the never ending path of success. |
| I just rap occasionally |
| Would someone be able to let me know my Instagram username I bolted myself out and I don’t realize what to do |
| Negative Vibers!! Go fuck yourself. |
| I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder. |
| Without ME, it’s just AWESO. |
| The pillow is my best hair stylist – Waiting for better tomorrow! |
| The most painful goodbyes are those which were never said and never explained. |
| My silence/smile is just another word for my pain. |
| I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide |
| I’m only pretending to be me. |
| Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. |
| ups and I am still figuring out a way to wake up before 10 am. |
| I am person who is brave, strong and broken at the same time. |
| Not every goodbye is painful like a “goodbye class” from teacher!! |
| Every mother on earth gave birth to child except my mother, She gave birth to Legend! |
| It’s possible that I’m eating frosting with a spoon. |
| Anybody knows my Instagram username not making another record once more. |
| Relationship Status: Looking For Wifi |
| Hey there! You’re using Instagram! |
| Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite. |
| I love to walk in fog Because nobody knows I am smoking. |
| I am so poor, i can’t even pay attention. |
| I will go into survival mode if tickled |
| I didn’t change, I just woke up. |
| I’ve realized that the Beatles got it wrong. Love isn’t all we need—love is all there is. |
| (bell symbol) Engineering |
| Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. |
| Each tempest comes up short on downpour |
| I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs! |
| Spent a large portion of my life eating. Will do the same in the next life. |
| It hurts when you have someone in your heart but not in your arms. |
| I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them. |
| Being weird is the side-effect of awesomeness. |
| Sorry about those messages that I sent you last night, my Instagram was drunk. |
| Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin. |
| When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you. |
| I completely loathe Instagram, and whatever else needing to do with hashtags. |
| Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. |
